Shy Jimmy

Alright, enough of this life nonsense. Back to drawing.

This is Shy Jimmy. He doesn’t do well in public places. As a matter of fact, he would prefer it if you didn’t look at him right now.

Shy Jimmy usually spends his days deep in his basement where he likes to systematically read through the dictionary and plot how he will one day take over the world with his extensive vocabulary.

You see, in the 6th grade, Shy Jimmy had a chance at winning the epic, countywide, annual spelling bee. But instead of impressing his fellow classmates with his dazzling intellect, Jimmy’s extreme introversion and nervousness for public speaking caused him to accidentally throw up all over little Peggy Sue (on whom he had a rather large crush) in the front row. He had a big lunch that day.

The humiliation was too much for Shy Jimmy who ran out of the auditorium, forfeiting the King Bee championship to Ned Tibble who was CLEARLY sub par and did not deserve the honor or the prestige or the babes (Peggy Sue) that came with the rather large trophy.

But let’s not feel sorry for Shy Jimmy. He will have his day in the sun. It will scorch his translucent basement skin but OH HE WILL HAVE. HIS. DAY.

He has penciled it in for next Thursday.

College Semester #13: The Beginning

The Fall 2010 semester is officially underway. At this point, my college career as blended into one blurry mess of homework and charcoal dust. I can tell already, though, this is going to be an interesting one. A good one. But interesting. Ask me about it sometime.

I have to say, I’m the most excited for my figure sculpture class. As we all know, figure studies are one of my favorite things to do IN THIS KNOWN UNIVERSE so you can imagine my excitement at a class that presents a 3-dimensional challenge.

Also, I have this class right after I deal with the obscene morning parking situation at my college. Last Wednesday, some guy cussed at me in the lot because I got “his” spot (it was rightfully mine. I have witnesses. It would hold up in any court of law.) and I got to class so frazzled that I beat the snot out of my clay.

It was very therapeutic.

Also, I got a Wacom tablet. Can you hear the angels singing? I do. “Haaaallelujahhhh!!” Here’s a “fill in the blanks” work in progress:

Doesn’t he look like a stud? I think he has a lady-friend in each city he visits. His name is probably Guy. Or Rhett. He keeps a fake mustache (which, if asked, he will pronounce, “must AH sh,”) in his right front pocket he can quickly whip out to impress the society ladies.

Old Lace

This is Edna. She’s lived in the same little old house for 45 years. The locals call her The Widow Brown. She’s not technically a widow and her last name isn’t Brown but she never bothered to correct them.

Edna used to rob trains in her youth so an alias was probably to her benefit. Back then people called her Twitchy Malone on account of her nervous tick. She could best any man in an arm wrestle and may have ripped a few off in the heat of the moment. She couldn’t be sure.

Now, she can be seen with the Good Book under her arm, trotting to Sunday services, leading the Presbyterian Ladies’ Aid Society or tending to her petunias.

Tess

This is Tess. She’s the spoiled daughter of a wealthy oil tycoon. See how she’s looking to the left? She’s eyeballing her nicer sister’s fiance who she will soon try and seduce but will fail, estranging her sister, her father (who was previously blind to her weasely ways) and her great aunt Roberta.

Tess’ family will exile her to the outskirts of town in a small cottage where she will be forced to be alone and think about how rotten she has become. Eventually, she will embrace her new, plain existence and become a nature lover, marry a handsome farmer and have 9 kids.

Crazy Old Mr. Smith

This is Lord Strathcona also known as Donald Smith. Apparently, he was a real person with a real Wikipedia page. He had something to do with the beginnings of Canada but who cares about all those facts and dates…

I think he looks like a crazy old man who probably lived at a dilapidated mansion at the end of the street. He was always a little eccentric but after his wife died he regressed into his isolated world. He has an extensive moth collection he keeps in his study and yells and shakes his cane at the neighborhood kids if they get too close to his rhododendrons. They were his wife’s favorite.

Deep down, though, he’s still a kindly old man and will eventually befriend a cheery local girl and her orphan friend and they will hang prisms from the windows and watch the rainbows they make on the wall. Oh, wait.

Who do YOU think he looks like?